Things That Infuriate Me

Okay, look. I am easily infuriated. This is not a secret to myself or to anyone who has known me longer than two hours. I admit that sometimes weird things annoy me, but I can't help it. So since I've got nothing better to do, I compiled a list of things that fill me with complete rage and make me want to tear someone's face off. Let it be a warning to you.

(These are in no particular order.)

1. When my roommate leaves the toilet open.

I understand that this is a weird thing. But it REALLY bugs me. What is so hard about putting the lid down when you're done? Sometimes people carry things like their toothbrushes into the bathroom. Who wants to risk THAT inevitable mishap? (This hasn't happened...yet. It is currently one of my biggest fears.) Not only that, but do you KNOW how much fecal matter flies into the air when you flush the toilet?! My towel hangs right above it! THERE IS FECAL MATTER ALL OVER MY TOWEL BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO LAZY TO USE A SMALL FLICK OF YOUR WRIST TO PUT THE LID DOWN.

2. When people set the new roll of toilet paper on top of the rod thingy.

Is it really that much extra work for you to pull the plastic thing out and put the roll on right? Is your life REALLY that hectic that you can't spare those 5 extra seconds? I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY IT'S SO HARD.


This picture actually depicts two: 3. Unrinsed dishes sitting in the sink, AND 4. Dirty dishes in the sink when the dishwasher is empty/partially loaded. You have GOT to be kidding me! If you leave food on the dishes and leave the dishes sitting out, the food becomes crusty, and believe me when I say that NO ONE enjoys scrubbing crusty food off the plates. So rinse your dishes. And guess what--we have a dishwasher. (And it ain't me.) So when the sign hanging on the dishwasher says "DIRTY," that is your cue to load your dishes. I even added a line underneath, so that it also says, "LOAD ME UP!" Seriously. A monkey could figure this out.

5. People who talk REALLY loud on the phone in public.

I don't care about your conversation. For real. Sometimes I may eavesdrop, I will admit, but usually because it's inevitable. Annoying Roommate does this frequently. We'll all be sitting in the living room, the TV will be on, people will be cooking and eating and talking, and she will be screaming into her phone and laughing her annoying laugh. UGH! Just go in a different room! So annoying.

6. AllergiesSummertime=bliss. Sunshine, softball, lacrosse, hay, beautifully irrigated fields, being barefoot, dripping with sweat on your morning run, picnics, being tan, fishing, camping, fires, s'mores, mosquito bites, watermelon, hot dogs...seriously, best time EVER. Unfortunately, I have hay fever, which means all those blissful things also entail sneezing, boogers, snot, wheezing + the inability to breathe, itchy eyes that swell shut if you rub them, and an INTENSE itching in the back of the throat that is impossible to get rid of, even when making a heinously ugly bullfrog-like noise. I don't know if I have super allergies or just crappy medicine, but nothing works except Benedryl, which KNOCKS you right out. That's probably why it works--I'm just asleep for three months and then when I finally wake up, allergy season is over.

Another two parter: 7. Clingers, and 8. Hoverers.
Do NOT cling to me. (Unless you're a child. I mean, that can still get annoying, but I'll handle that one.) I am not your Siamese twin; we don't have to be touching at all times. Even if you are the love of my life, most gorgeous man on Earth, I want to spend eternity with you, you don't always need to be holding my hand/playing with my hair/wrapping your arm around my waist or shoulders/rubbing my back. Sometimes, I just want you to BACK UP and GET OUT OF MY BUBBLE and STOP TOUCHING ME and LET ME BREATHE, OH-MY-FREAKING-LANTA YOU ARE SUFFOCATING ME. And then there's the hovering thing. If there's something going on, hoverers have to be there. Conversations that have NOTHING to do with them and that they are not a part of? They'll butt in. They hear laughter and they come running and--before they even hear the joke--they start laughing, too. Oh, how it irks me. IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME.

I should really just find two more to make it a nice, even 10 (seriously, my OCD is kind of bothering me about it...I won't even admit how many other things about this post have been changed for this very same reason), but I've spent far too long on this and I'm done.

We are fun girls!

I just sat staring here at the screen for like 10 minutes trying to think up a witty title. I finally decided to leave it blank. Maybe inspiration will hit as I'm typing...okay that was an experiment and still nothing. Poop.

So my softball team is in the championship game this weekend. That's fun, except I'm about 90% sure I won't be playing. And one of the other teams is crying about when we beat them by one run in the last inning on a bad call by the umpire. They're saying he made the call because he's dating our coach, which he IS but ISN'T why he made the call. He had already made the same call during the game in the other team's favor and in the game the week before. So get off our freaking necks.

I had a really stellar weekend because Annoying Roommate (trust me, annoying is a COMPLETE UNDERSTATEMENT) went to Utah for a family reunion. She left Wednesday night and the rest of us wanted to PARTY. But we didn't, because we're kind of anticlimactic and boring like that. I can't even think of one thing I did that night...I'm thinking we watched TV and ate Otter Pops. It's pretty much what we do every night. But it was so glorious without her annoying comments and her annoying chewing and her general annoyingness! Thursday...yeah, we still didn't do anything fun. Friday night we had softball games to attend to, but afterward we got a pizza and rented She's All That (we wanted 10 Things I Hate About You but it was gone--curses!) and were so excited to watch a movie and eat pizza at our apartment WITHOUT Annoying Roommate and we popped the movie in and...

Our DVD player wouldn't play it. It said it exceeded the parental control settings. It's PG-13! Ugh. We've had this problem before, with Far and Away, AKA my favorite movie EVER. We don't know the password for it, either, so we just had to go to a different apartment. Wah wah. And then we hit up the park for some swinging/sliding/monkey barring action. It was fun besides the fact that we were all exhausted and falling asleep on the play equipment. And then we walked down the hall--I live at in 101 and we had to walk down the whole hallway, past 110 and 109 and so on--and every single apartment we passed was either devoid of girls or full of girls on dates with boys. We were admiring everyone's decor; lots of cutesy curtains and quotes and furniture and such. Then we (three single girls with absolutely no boys in sight) walked into our apartment and were hit with an overwhelmingly disgusting stench coming from the sink, which was overflowing with dirty dishes. The garbage was spilling over, the counters were dirty, and we all kind of looked around and looked at each other and shrugged and sighed and decided that was why were hanging out together, just the three of us, on a Friday night, instead of on dates.

But then we kind of didn't care anymore and all went to bed.

A frequent topic of discussion in our apartment is "Why don't boys like us?" We are, I assure you, VERY fun girls. We are all funny and smart and witty and (except for Annoying Roommate) not annoying. And the most repeated part of this recurring discussion is, "I mean, I'm not disfigured or anything!" We just don't really understand what girls DO to make boys chase after them! We were observing some girls at devotional one Tuesday, trying to pick up tips, but they all did the stupidest things...the eyelash-batting, hair-flipping, giggling type of things that will NEVER happen for myself or my roommate Kay Lynn. We discussed the idea of wearing foofy perfume, but rejected it because, well, we're not very girly. And I always get a headache when people wear perfume. So that's out of the question. But those girls always have boys after them! And then we decided that we didn't want the type of boys that went for those types of girls.

Unfortunately, that leaves us with...no one. Wah wah. So we've gone back to Plan A--waiting until our missionaries get home. They're better than all the stupid boys here anyway.

I finally thought of a title! It's what I yell for the whole apartment when we start the "why don't we have boys" conversation. Because we ARE. Please take the liberty of checking out how fun we are below.


4-wheeling!

Riding around in the backs of trucks in various states of sunburn!


Getting in our uniforms 2+ hours before our games and showing off our amazing muscles!

Seriously. We just don't understand why we don't have any other friends besides each other...but then we realize we are too cool for anyone else anyway.

Maiden Voyage

So, I wanted to have something profound (AKA funny) to write about for this very first blog post, but...nothing. I'm not in a very happy/funny mood because I live with 5 girls and that always puts me in a bad mood (although this semester only one is annoying...but she's as annoying as five annoying ones mixed together). Plus I am in college and boys are stupid. (Not at all of them, you know, but a vast majority, especially the ones at BYU-I.) I will most likely end up eating another chocolate covered chocolate chip granola bar, even though I've already had 3 today (AND a frosted blueberry one) and I just bought them last night.

I swear I'm not a binge eater or anything like that.

I just have an addiction to all these chocolate. Like, if a dessert doesn't have chocolate I almost don't even want to use to energy it takes to eat it. Hence the title. Also, I'm a midget. Not the kind that gets a show on TLC (though a boy I work with [and subsequently am madly in love with] and I are working on that); the kind that has to use a step-stool to get the toilet paper down because her roommates keep it on TOP of the kitchen cabinet. Who even does that? Seriously, there are two cabinets under the sink that could easily hold toilet paper! I've moved it before and it keeps mysteriously ending up there. But the toilet paper I buy goes under the sink.

Anyway. As you can see, I enjoy parentheses and caps lock. (SOMETIMES IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO ADEQUATRLY EXPLAIN HOW ANGRY/ANNOYED YOU ARE.) I didn't even know shift capitalized things until like 8th grade.

(I'm eating one of my granola bars right now. 4 down, 4 to go.)

I'm also ticked because the mail never came today! (Well, Kay Lynn and I are saying it never came...it's easier to blame the mailman [woman, actually] than face the idea that we just didn't get any mail.) We both have missionaries we're writing, so we check the mail approximately four times a day...each.

Quit judging us.

This blogging thing is kind of fun! I can just babble away and type and type and type and type. It's almost better than talking out loud because I'll never know if people stop listening/reading. People frequently stop listening while I'm talking and I can see it on their faces, but here you could just click the x and stop reading and I won't be able to tell. But I really don't have anything else to say. I don't feel like venting about stupid boys because I'm bored with that subject. (I live with 5 girls, remember? It's a frequent topic of conversation. Plus it's been a bad boy week, so I've been talking about it a lot.)

My new favorite song is called "You Picked Me" by A Fine Frenzy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HaCRVxCxX0A
Check it out. I'm going to be busy resisting the urge to eat ANOTHER granola bar. Maybe I'll settle for an Otter Pop.