Saturday, January 30, 2010

Thoughts

I have been thinking a lot lately.

(Is this new?)

Okay, I usually think. Too much, usually. I think and worry and over-analyze. But I have been thinking about my feelings. I don't really do that very often. In fact, my motto is usually "Ignore 'em 'til they go away." If I don't dwell on my feelings I don't have to deal with them, right?

I am learning that this is unhealthy. Who knew?

Anyway, one of my feelings is of...I'm not sure how to phrase it. (I need a reverse dictionary. You know, like for when I know what I'm trying to say but don't have one specific word for it. You'd think with all the new-fangled technologies we've got these days someone could manage to invent that.) I just feel like I haven't done anything in my life. I will end up being in college for 5 years. And then I still have 3 years of law school. So, eight years of schooling.

Woop woop? No. Not a big woop. All I will have to show for all this is a piece of paper and a lot of debt.

So then I started thinking mission. That's an option.

I'd also love to go to Africa and hang out in the orphanages there. Give out vaccinations. Teach little kids how to read.

Israel will always be on my list.

I've never been to Mt. Rushmore. I've never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Lincoln Memorial or the Liberty Bell or Arlington National Cemetery or the Library of Congress or seen the original Constitution or the Rocky statue in Philadelphia. (Yes, I put Rocky on the same list as our nation's roots. Deal with it.) I want to do all these things, see all these things!

I guess that's my bucket list. Except I don't know if they're possible. American history? I may be able to tackle those. Israel? Less possible. Africa? Probably even less. I need to win a multimillion dollar court case and get money to do all these things. (And I don't mean a lawsuit for something stupid like hot coffee. I mean as a lawyer, I need to kick butt in the courtroom and argue my case and win and get a very large cut of the money.)

I don't even really know why I'm doing all this rambling. I'm in a very introspective mood lately, when I have time to stop and think--which actually isn't all that much because I have ridiculous amounts of homework these days. But all my roommates have boyfriends, so on the off chance I do have free time, I spend it alone. Wah wah.