If a tree falls in the forest...

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound? A deep philosophical question. More applicable to most college students is the age-old question, "If you fart while wearing headphones, is it still audible?" Well, to the guy on the computer right next to my desk at work: yes. I indeed heard that and giggled, able to do so without embarrassing you because I am too short to be seen over the computer screen. Or even the bookshelf by my desk.

Wednesdays are sooooooo loooooong for me. I go to three classes (an hour and 15 minutes each--a super random length of time that somehow seems infinite) and then sit at work for six hours. It really makes me feel bad for people who are full-time students and work full-time as well. I only have to do it one day a week (actually I really do it no days a week, since 6 hours of work is not full-time) and it kills me. I really like my job, for several reasons, which I will now list:

-It looks super impressive on my resume.
-I learn a ton about legal research, which will (hopefully) come in handy in my future.
-I get paid $11.75 per hour.
-When no one needs my help and I have no projects for professors, I get to study. (This describes 80% of my work time and 99% of my Wednesdays.)

So obviously it is a great job and I am super lucky to have it and I know this and I appreciate my job. But for real, I have been here for 5 hours already and so far I have spent a grand total of 10 minutes actually doing work--I took a book to a professor (on the 5th floor, which makes me huff and puff up all those stairs on a regular day anyway, but I currently have no use of my nasal passages so I sounded like freaking Darth Vader once I got up there and actually stopped to catch my breath before embarrassing myself in front of my professor) and looking up the call number to a legal treatise on worker's compensation for a guy who claimed to be an attorney but was wearing a backwards hat and carrying a side bag, characteristics which describe 60% of the unmarried guys in my class (which is probably like 8% of the total males in my class). (I seem to be really into percentages today.) (Also parentheses.)

So, you may ask, what do I do with the other time at my disposal whilst getting paid? I'm glad you asked. Let me tell you. (I'm also really into lists today, apparently.) Today, I:

-Did my reading for Monday's First Amendment class (only 8 pages; what is this, Christmas??)
-Did my reading for Wednesday's Criminal Procedure class (only 24 pages; also very short! We don't have class Monday but it's not like I had anything else to do so I did my reading...that makes me sound like I really have it together but don't be deceived.)
-Did a whole lot of Facebooking, including stalking random people (of course).
-Looked at pictures of baby animals.
-Went to the bathroom three times.
-Took a trip to the vending machine for some Wheat Thins.
-Read some recipe blogs and salivated over the pictures with full knowledge that I am far too lazy to ever make any of those things.
-Did not look at/talk to my secret crush when I passed him on the stairs. (In my defense, this was on the way up to the 5th floor and I needed to save my breath/my sick voice sounds like a boy going through puberty/I've never spoken to him before so I don't know why we'd be friends now. Plus I'm pretty sure he harbors some bitterness form when I totally showed him up at a 10k last year.)
-Didn't hear/comprehend a guy's greeting to me until he was already gone. (He told me to have a good evening but all I got was whisper whisper mumble -ing so I just smiled and mumbled something unintelligible back in hopes that his brain would fill in a socially acceptable response for me.)

I thought all this would eat up more time, but I still have half an hour to go. Back to Facebook stalking it is.